拘る

From こ (ko-, “a small thing: 小, 個”) +‎ たわる (tawaru, “to lose oneself in something, to obsess over something: 戯る, 狂る”). The tawaru changes to dawaru as an instance of rendaku (連(れん)濁(だく)).

Tawaru derives from the same tawa element in words such as 戯ける (tawakeru, “to mess around, to act crazy, to be nonsensical”) or 戯言 (tawagoto, “nonsense, crazy talk”), indicating "actions or state out of the ordinary: eccentricity, preposterousness, absurdity":
tawa + auxiliary verb る (ru, indicating spontaneous or passive action).

Tawa may be the nominalized imperfective form of root verb たう (tau, “to stand up to pressure, to remain unchanged, to last; to be appropriate to a task, to have value: 堪う, 耐う, 勝う”), with the imperfective possibly indicating “not lasting: fickle, changing; not being appropriate, not having value”.

• (Tokyo) こだわる [kòdáwáꜜrù] (Nakadaka – [3])^[1]
• IPA^(key): [ko̞da̠β̞a̠ɾɯ̟]

拘(こだわ)る • (kodawaru) ^{←こだはる (kodafaru)?}intransitive godan (stem 拘(こだわ)り (kodawari), past 拘(こだわ)った (kodawatta))

1. to get hung up on something, to not proceed smoothly

   些細(ささい)なことに拘(こだわ)って納品(のうひん)が遅(おく)れた。

   Sasai na koto ni kodawatte nōhin ga okureta.

   He got hung up on minor details, and he was late delivering [the product].

2. to be concerned over something that is not worth attention: to be overly fastidious or particular

   無視(むし)すればよいのに、どうして拘(こだわ)るの。

   Mushi sureba yoi no ni, dōshite kodawaru no.

   You should be ignoring that, so why are you worrying about it?

   • 2014, Kimura Sōta, Terebi ga tsutaenai Kenpō no hanashi [What TV doesn’t say about the Constitution], page 191:

     そういう奇(き)妙(みょう)な拘(こだわ)りを持(も)つ人(ひと)が強(きょう)調(ちょう)するのは、決(き)まって、日(に)本(ほん)国(こく)憲(けん)法(ぽう)の制(せい)定(てい)経(けい)緯(い)である。

     Sō iu kimyō na kodawari o motsu hito ga kyōchō suru no wa, kimatte, Nihonkoku Kenpō no seitei keī de aru.

     People who have that strange fixation always emphasize, without fail, the process through which the Japanese Constitution was established.

3. to nitpick about something

   メニューの言葉遣(ことばづか)いに拘(こだわ)り文句(もんく)を言(い)う

   menyū no kotobazukai ni kodawari monku o iu

   to nitpick and complain about the wording of the menu

4. to take special care over something, to be particular (in a positive way)

   品質(ひんしつ)に拘(こだわ)る

   hinshitsu ni kodawaru

   to be careful about quality, to be particular about quality

   • 2013 September 29, Matsuyama Iwao, “‘Bunshi no yūjō Yoshiyuki Junnosuke no koto nado’ Yasuoka Shōtarō cho tomo no kioku, bungaku e no kakugo [‘Bunshi no yūjō Yoshiyuki Junnosuke no koto nado’ by Yasuoka Shotaro: memories of a friend, determination toward literature]”, in Yomiuri Shimbun, page 13:

     だがその実(じつ)、記(き)憶(おく)を蘇(よみがえ)らせつつ、例(たと)えば吉(よし)行(ゆき)の初(しょ)期(き)短(たん)篇(ぺん)を再(さい)読(どく)する過(か)程(てい)で、安(やす)岡(おか)の小(しょう)説(せつ)への真(しん)摯(し)な拘(こだわ)りが明(あき)らかになる。

     Da ga sono jitsu, kioku o yomigaerase tsutsu, tatoeba Yoshiyuki no shoki tanpen o saidoku suru katei de, Yasuoka no shōsetsu e no shinshi na kodawari ga akiraka ni naru.

     But in fact, through this remembrance, for example in the process of rereading Yoshiyuki’s early short fiction, Yasuoka’s sincere commitment to the novel becomes clear.

This term is often spelled in kana.

Though intransitive, this verb usually takes an indirect object followed by the particle に (ni).

The positive connotations of sense 4 appear to be a more recent development. Some speakers and writers may caution against using the word this way.