Tracy Schorn

Tracy Schorn (pronounced 'shorn') née Sutton[1] is an American cartoonist, former journalist, book author, blogger known as "Chump Lady", and founder of the online community known as "Chump Nation", made up of survivors of infidelity.[2] One reporter noted, "For cheaters, there's Ashley Madison. For the cheated upon, there's Tracy Schorn".[3]

Career

Schorn was the state news editor at the AARP Bulletin and has written for AARP,[4] Smithsonian, and Reader's Digest. Her criticism of the term "conscious uncoupling" was noted by The New York Times.[5]

Schorn has been forging a new narrative about infidelity that champions self-respect and self-care for those cheated on (so-called "chumps").[6] Schorn believes infidelity is abuse, and uses straight talk, snarky cartoons and humorous terms like "schmoopie" and "spackling" to affirm her motto "Leave a cheater, gain a life". Her own experience as a "chump" inspired her choice to focus on infidelity and the "reconciliation industrial complex" as her subject matter.[2] She has written about therapists and their "dual accountability" fallacy ("What did you do to drive him into the arms of the other woman?").[7] She recommends acknowledging and learning from mistakes as part of coping with heartbreak.[8] She says affair partners "need the triangle, the unwitting chump, to give their affair the frisson of danger".[9]

Schorn advises cheated-on parents to remain respectful of their child's love for the cheating parent, but to give truthful, age-appropriate reasons for separation and divorce.[10]

She advises the 'other woman' to confess to the cheated-on partner, arguing "the least you can do is return a little of their dignity and tell the truth".[11]

Schorn's podcast with Sarah Gorrell is called "Tell Me How You're Mighty".[2]

Tracy Schorn's blog, Chump Nation was credited in the acknowledgment of Liars, by Sarah Manguso[12][13]

Schorn has blogged about both public figures glamorizing infidelity (e.g. Esther Perel[14]) and public figures engaging in extramarital affairs (e.g. TJ Holmes and Amy Robach).[15]

Criticism

An article in The New Yorker described Schorn's philosophy as "a mission to reframe cheating as abuse".[16] The Cut suggested that Schorn promotes unquestioning validation of women's assertions.[2]

Selected publications

  • Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life: The Chump Lady's Survival Guide, Running Press, 2016. ISBN 9780762459056[17]
  • The Chump Lady Survival Guide to Infidelity: How to Regain Your Sanity After You've Been Cheated on, CreateSpace Independent Publishing, 2014. ISBN 9781493554003

References

  1. ^ Schorn, Tracy (2013-06-17). "Why I Finally Decided To Change My Last Name". HuffPost. Retrieved 2025-02-11.
  2. ^ a b c d Cherelus, Gina (September 6, 2024). "In Her World, Getting Cheated On Makes You a 'Chump'". The New York Times. Retrieved 8 September 2024.
  3. ^ Italie, Leanne (2015-08-31). "Infidelity and divorce have serious impact on children". Worcester Telegram. Retrieved 2025-02-12.
  4. ^ Bridges, George (May 1, 2013). "Women-only Sessions: Safe Zone for Planning the Future". AARP. Retrieved 8 September 2024.
  5. ^ Cherelus, Gina (September 25, 2023). "Everyone's Breaking Up, but Nobody's Bitter: What's Going On?". The New York Times. Retrieved 8 September 2024.
  6. ^ "In Her World, Getting Cheated On Makes You a 'Chump' (Published 2024)". 2024-09-06. Retrieved 2025-10-21.
  7. ^ Schorn, Tracy (2025-10-10). "The 'Dual Accountability' Therapy Fallacy". ChumpLady.com. Retrieved 2025-10-21.
  8. ^ Palmer, Alex (October 19, 2015). "Tough Love: Straight-Talking Self-Help Books Show Readers How to Weather Any Emotional Storm". Publishers Weekly. 262 (42): 36–37.
  9. ^ Wong, Brittany (2023-03-09). "'Mate Poaching' Is Behind Our Obsession With The 'Vanderpump Rules' Drama". HuffPost. Retrieved 2025-02-12.
  10. ^ Italie, Leanne (August 27, 2015). "Divorce tougher on kids if a cheating parent is involved". Toronto Star. Associated Press. Retrieved 8 September 2024.
  11. ^ Wong, Brittany (2018-02-15). "Should The 'Other Woman' Ever Tell A Wife That Her Husband Is Cheating?". HuffPost. Retrieved 2025-02-12.
  12. ^ "Sarah Manguso", Wikipedia, 2025-08-04, retrieved 2025-10-21
  13. ^ "When It Comes to a Bad Marriage, Whose Account Can You Trust? (Published 2024)". 2024-07-23. Retrieved 2025-10-21.
  14. ^ "Esther Perel Archives". ChumpLady.com. 2025-07-17. Retrieved 2025-10-21.
  15. ^ Schorn, Tracy (2025-10-15). "TJ Holmes and Amy Robach Are Engaged". ChumpLady.com. Retrieved 2025-10-21.
  16. ^ Sehgal, Parul (August 5, 2024). "Is the End of Marriage the Beginning of Self-Knowledge?". The New Yorker. Retrieved 8 September 2024.
  17. ^ Schorn, Tracy (2016-05-10). "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life: The Chump Lady's Survival..." Goodreads. Retrieved 2025-02-12.
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