If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is a 2025 American psychological drama film, written and directed by Mary Bronstein. It stars Rose Byrne, Conan O'Brien, Danielle Macdonald, Christian Slater and A$AP Rocky.

The film had its world premiere at the 2025 Sundance Film Festival on January 24, 2025, and a domestic release by A24 on October 10, 2025, to positive reviews. Byrne's performance receiving universal acclaim, the Silver Bear for Best Leading Performance at the 75th Berlin International Film Festival, and nominations for a Golden Globe Award and Critics' Choice Award for Best Actress.

Linda is a psychotherapist stretched to her limits while caring for her daughter, who is suffering from a pediatric feeding disorder. The daughter must be fed through a gastric feeding tube each night and eat enough during mealtimes to gain weight and recover. Her daughter is also enrolled in a day hospital program, which Linda must attend with her. The family's situation takes a turn for the worse when the ceiling in their Montauk apartment collapses, flooding the house. With her husband, a ship captain, Charles, away on an eight-week work trip, Linda is forced to move with her daughter into a shabby motel. Sharing a motel room, Linda struggles to sleep with the sound of her daughter's enteral feeding pump. Sleep-deprived, Linda spends nights outside the motel, drinking alcohol, smoking marijuana, listening to music, and eating junk food. During the night, Linda also leaves her daughter to check on the apartment repairs.

When Charles calls to check-in on Linda, he continues to complain and criticize her, offering no support. Linda avoids meetings with her daughter's doctor in the day hospital program. She is told that if her daughter does not meet her weight goals, her daughter's level of care will be reassessed. Professionally, Linda is surrounded by clients in crisis, including Caroline, a new mother who abandons her baby mid-session. When Caroline's husband refuses to leave work to retrieve the baby, Linda is forced to call the police to report the baby abandoned and Caroline missing. Linda seeks therapy from her own colleague; however, he is increasingly exasperated by her behavior. He eventually declines her as a patient after she repeatedly crosses professional boundaries.

While living in the motel, Linda meets Diana, a snarky clerk, and her neighbor James, a motel superintendent. James helps her buy drugs on the dark web and offers emotional support to her daughter, but their relationship is complicated and ultimately strained. Caroline later appears at the motel lobby, asking for Linda and appearing to be in a state of mental crisis. As Linda tries to speak with her and provide help, she slaps Linda and runs away. Linda pursues, but Caroline ultimately disappears onto a dark nearby beach.

Later, when told that her daughter cannot make the necessary weight for her feeding tube to be removed, Linda takes her daughter to the motel room and removes the tube herself. She then hallucinates the surgical hole closing. When Linda heads back to her apartment, she discovers that Charles has suddenly returned home and repaired the hole in the ceiling. She tries to hide that she left their child alone at the motel, but James tells Charles the truth. When Charles sees that Linda has removed the feeding tube, Linda runs to the beach. There, she repeatedly attempts to drown herself in the ocean, but is thrown back to shore by heavy waves. Linda wakes up on the beach a few moments later, with her daughter looking at her. Linda says she will be better.

• Rose Byrne as Linda^[4]
• Conan O'Brien as Linda's therapist
• Danielle Macdonald as Caroline, a mother who abandons her newborn baby
• Christian Slater as Charles, Linda's husband^[5]
• ASAP Rocky as James, motel superintendent
• Delaney Quinn as Linda's daughter
• Ivy Wolk as Diana, a motel clerk
• Mary Bronstein as Dr. Spring
• Daniel Zolghadri as Stephen
• Ronald Bronstein as Caroline's husband
• Lark White as Vanessa
• Josh Pais as Brad
• Eva Kornet as herself
• Mark Stolzenberg as a clinic parking attendant
• Helen Hong as Eva
• Ella Beatty as Kate
• Manu Narayan as Landlord
• Amy Judd Lieberman as Melanie

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You began filming in August^[6] and September 2023^[7] in Montauk, New York after SAG-AFTRA granted an interim agreement for the film amidst the actors' strike.^[8]

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You premiered at the Sundance Film Festival on January 24, 2025.^[9] It had its international premiere in February 2025 at the 75th Berlin International Film Festival in competition for the Golden Bear.^[10][11] Rose Byrne won the Silver Bear for Best Leading Performance.^[12] It was screened at the 52nd Telluride Film Festival,^[13] the 2025 Toronto International Film Festival,^[14] the 2025 New York Film Festival,^[15] and the 2025 BFI London Film Festival.^[16] The film was released by A24 on October 10, 2025.^[17]

It was also screened in the 'Best of 2025' section of the 20th Rome Film Festival in October 2025.^[18]

On the review aggregator website Rotten Tomatoes, 91% of 176 critics' reviews are positive. The website's consensus reads: "Liable to leave audiences in a cold sweat, this fever dream immersion into parental stress connects with thunderous force thanks to Rose Byrne's gutsy star turn and director Mary Bronstein's uncompromising vision."^[19] Metacritic, which uses a weighted average, assigned the film a score of 77 out of 100, based on 32 critics, indicating "generally favorable" reviews.^[20]

• If I Had Legs I'd Kick You at Rotten Tomatoes
• If I Had Legs I'd Kick You at IMDb